The Question: How do I get my kid to develop great social skills?

Parents have asked me how do I develop my kids social skills. Obviously you have them around other people in different social situations… duh

BUT… There are a few things you can do that can greatly increase their skills that nobody talks about.

The first thing I work on is Body Language. More specifically… good posture, open body stances, and smiling.

Where I Started…

When I was a kid I had terrible social skills. I was as awkward as a newborn giraffe on a tightrope. I was constantly being bullied and it was rough. I just didn’t understand why nobody wanted to be my friend.

Then one day I found a book. It said that 70% of communication in social interactions was done Non-Verbally. It had a few suggestions on smiling, using open body stances to convey confidence, and just basic good posture.

I spent weeks coming up with drills for myself. (go to the mall and stand with my hands in my back pockets to make sure I wouldn’t stand with arms crossed in front and shoulders hunched) Some people might think I’m a bit crazy BUT… It WORKED! and it worked really really well.

All of a sudden, other kids started to notice me. It was like a magic spell. Almost overnight the bullying disappeared… and then it got weird. The bullies wanted to be friends. I had somehow been transformed into a “Cool Dude”. Turns out if you walk around with confident & friendly body language all the time, it’s easy to make friends.

To Answer the Question:

When you’re around your kids practice telling them to stand up straight. Reward them for smiling at everyone they meet. Turn it into a game where If they catch you in bad (unfriendly) body language you have to do 5 pushups, but if you catch them they have to do 5. Get creative and have fun. Just remember:

  1. Shoulders Back
  2. Chin Up
  3. Smile

Start with and focus on these three things and then you can work on other skills like eye contact, head tilt, friendly touch, etc…