The Question: How do I get my kid to develop great social skills?
Parents have asked me how do I develop my kids social skills. Obviously you have them around other people in different social situations… duh
BUT… There are a few things you can do that can greatly increase their skills that nobody talks about.
The first thing I work on is Body Language. More specifically… good posture, open body stances, and smiling.
Where I Started…
When I was a kid I had terrible social skills. I was as awkward as a newborn giraffe on a tightrope. I was constantly being bullied and it was rough. I just didn’t understand why nobody wanted to be my friend.
Then one day I found a book. It said that 70% of communication in social interactions was done Non-Verbally. It had a few suggestions on smiling, using open body stances to convey confidence, and just basic good posture.
I spent weeks coming up with drills for myself. (go to the mall and stand with my hands in my back pockets to make sure I wouldn’t stand with arms crossed in front and shoulders hunched) Some people might think I’m a bit crazy BUT… It WORKED! and it worked really really well.
All of a sudden, other kids started to notice me. It was like a magic spell. Almost overnight the bullying disappeared… and then it got weird. The bullies wanted to be friends. I had somehow been transformed into a “Cool Dude”. Turns out if you walk around with confident & friendly body language all the time, it’s easy to make friends.
To Answer the Question:
When you’re around your kids practice telling them to stand up straight. Reward them for smiling at everyone they meet. Turn it into a game where If they catch you in bad (unfriendly) body language you have to do 5 pushups, but if you catch them they have to do 5. Get creative and have fun. Just remember:
- Shoulders Back
- Chin Up
Start with and focus on these three things and then you can work on other skills like eye contact, head tilt, friendly touch, etc…